Fire Down Below


I have learned an important lesson.  Or, rather, I have found myself combining smaller lessons into a previously unconsidered larger lesson.  When it comes to spicy foods, I already knew the following three things:

  1. Exposure to capsaicin (the chemical that makes spicy foods spicy) builds a tolerance.  Foods that were spicy a year ago are now mere little puffs of heat and the ante must be upped.
  2. The spicy bite you feel… you will feel twice.  What goes in, must come out.
  3. The exception to rule #2 seems to be (in my experience), the artificial heat that comes off of snack foods.

So… how did these three things combine to form a grander revelation?  Allow me to explain.

I’ve been hooked on First Degree Burn Doritos for a month or so now.

These guys

When I first tried them, they produced a significant amount of heat – I was in pain, but it was great.  This product is a perfect example of rule #3.  Over time, I developed a tolerance to the heat and now they are simply a delightful snack with a punch.

What I didn’t figure into the equation is that I had only developed a tolerance to my mouth.  My anus is a whole different story (as is usually the case).  Last night, I had a burger loaded with jalapeno peppers and fiery sauce… I wanted a serious burn and was left a little disappointed.  Still, it was a good flavor and a good burger, overall.  Little did I know just how spicy that burger had been until this morning on the toilet.

I think I may spend a few hours walking like a cowboy today.  Ow.

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